Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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