I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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