There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
