The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
pop tarts are not kleenex
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize