just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
