People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
