Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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