i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize