3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
