im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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