took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
