I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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