Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
