Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
