Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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