my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize