U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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