Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Come share oat with me in your robe
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
