mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize