Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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