Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
either way he was missing a nipple.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
