if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize