Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
