I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
