So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize