This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
