Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
