Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize