Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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