he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
