alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
