soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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