My hand turned me down
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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