i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
