so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
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Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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