I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize