I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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