I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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