I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
