youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
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there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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