Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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