Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
