Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
