I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Church boner. Awkwardddd
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
