i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
