I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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