You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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