I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
