Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
