her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
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You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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