if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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