so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
