And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
