Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
In the future we'll all be gay
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
