Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
