what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
how does that bad decision feel?
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