Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
