Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize