At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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