she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
