I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
